


Something We Had

by Greenspoons



Category: Quantico (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2018-06-10 15:39:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6962857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenspoons/pseuds/Greenspoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raina deals with Simon's death in the only way she knows how to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something We Had

Raina was an idealist and always eager to look at the bright side of things. She was naive to believe that being in the FBI would change the world for the better. But now, she could see it for what it really was. Like everything else, the institution was not without its own set of failings, and its bureaucracy was just as susceptible to Man's prideful nature.

They'd been so full of hope and had only wanted to do right by their country. Heck, they believed in the values of fidelity, bravery and integrity that had been instilled in them during the months in Quantico. Except none of them expected to be so severely tested, only to fall short of Simon's heroism.

It was what he wanted, to be remembered for the man he truly was and to be forgiven for the choices he'd made in the past. Although to her, he could do no wrong. To her, he had always been inscrutable beneath the cover of his sexuality and his imagined penchant for coffee but she recognized the goodness in his soul almost immediately. She saw a man trying to seek deliverance from his past sins and the strength to be a better version of himself.

Falling in love with him was too easy. Like him, their first kiss had been gentle. It felt as if a warmth had settled in her heart as the pot of tea lay forgotten between them. She saw the hope that sprang to his eyes and how quickly it was smothered by his shy smile.

She had come to trust him, trusted him enough to believe in her to do the right thing. And when she'd saw him in the diner back at D.C., her first instinct was to tell him how much he meant to her. She wanted to believe in the possibility of them when he tried to convince her that there were other ways to do good. When he'd smiled and asked her to come work with him.

She hadn't told him the way she felt for him. Not then, and not later when they met again after the Grand Central bombing.

When he'd drove to his death, she had been so afraid to tell him. Afraid to admit that she was about to lose him with many words yet unsaid between them. Feelings that she hadn't wanted to confront because it would have meant that she had something to lose. It was a knowledge she didn't need in her line of work.

Not that there would be any point in it. She knew his conscience couldn't live with the burden of another bomb threat. She'd seen the haunted look that had lingered in his eyes when he'd released the trigger, and when he'd alienated himself.

And now, she could only whisper it into the air around her.

During his funeral, she had been too choked up with grief, swallowed by an anger that was foreign to her. Being a devout Muslim had made her a believer in peace. Unlike Nimah, she'd always believed that it was the only way to triumph over the forces of terror that they both sworn to fight against.

She wasn't sure she could continue fighting the good fight.

It had been months since, but the tears still flowed freely, unabated in their intensity. She wiped at the dampness beneath her eyes with the edge of her hijab.

She knew she had to move on, and he would have been wanted her to.

 _I love you Simon_ , she finally said into the empty darkness of the room, prompting a fresh deluge of tears.

She tried to settle herself into a sleeping position, drawing the duvet towards her. As she dried her tears and placed her head against the freshly- changed pillowcase that was faintly redolent of citrus, the tears sprang to her eyes again.

She thought of the job that awaited her in the morning, and seeming to think better of crying herself to bed as she did on most nights, she choked back a sob.

There would be no more tears. She wouldn't mourn their what- ifs and had- beens.

Raina had Simon in her heart and her mind. It would be enough. For the both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't exactly remember all their scenes from the entire Season One, but I hope that's okay


End file.
